Wednesday, 5 June 2013
For a while now, Apple has prided themselves on accessibility for all.Equipped with more apps than Steve Jobs had turtlenecks, the company has apps for hearing impairment, blindness, different types of learning disabilities and even an ASL app. The iHelp message board boasts that Siri’s personal assistant and voice-control options helps those with both physical/motor impairment and those with visual difficulties.
As well intended as Siri is, however, some of us, like my friend Thom, find her to be more harmful than helpful at the best of times. Thom has a speech impediment, and while Siri is supposed to warm-up to people’s differing speech, all her zero’s and ones fail to understand Thom, as heard in the hilarious audio here. To give you an idea of their conversation, it starts with Thom saying, “What will the weather be like today?”To which Siri responds, "Wherever you are, that’s where I am.” Turns out that despite her ineptness, she’s really quite loyal.
Thom: 1 Apple/Siri: 0
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Don’t read if you’re an avid GOT watcher, whom by some fluke did not see season 3 ep. 9 this week and somehow missed all the blaring spoiler articles that lament the show’s most recent occurrence, such as the one found here.
I’m not a big TV person. I like TV alright, and enjoy the odd flick if it includes popcorn and fun flip-down movie seats, but I could care less if the screen played Friends from 20 yrs ago or the most recent episode of Nurse Jackie. Usually when a pivotal plot-changing event is happening, I am admiring the actress’ hair or wondering if their voice is quite that shrill in real life. During plot lulls I sometimes find myself writing up grocery lists or brainstorming my next witty Twitter status.
And then Episode 9 happened.
In under 5 minutes, two of the beloved Starks were taken away from us, and we were left with nothing but silent credits and aftershock.
I’ll be first to admit that before the shock set in completely, I found myself thinking, “Now Jon Snow is the only sexy man left,” with deep disappointment. Jon Snow is great and all, but sometimes his puppy-like jowls and doe-eyes just don’t do it for me.
And then of course the deeper impact started to set in. Arya, Sunsa, parentless. No more rise of the Starks. At least not for now.
Then some deep sadness, the kind you can only feel after attaching to characters like they are real and active people in your life, set in. I had to do something.
So I did what most people do when dealing with loss, and tried to put it into perspective. No, I didn’t remind myself that Peter Dinklage is still hot if I squint, or think about all the new possibilities this opens up for the Stark sisters. I went much deeper.
I watched Stephen Hawking’s Discovery Channel Documentary on The Story of Everything. Here, he explains in the most Laymen’s terms, how the universe came to be, how it will end, and that we are simply the result of billions of years of processing, destroying and re-building as the forces of gravity collide with dark energy. He also explains that in roughly 5 billion years, Earth as we know it will be nothing but lava and rock, and that 30 billion years from now, our universe will be non-existent.
Boom. Just like that my anguish over fake people dying has dissipated. And therein lies the solution I’m suggesting for all you Game of Throner’s who feel, betrayed, fooled, or like you’re experiencing some indescribable withdrawal: Watch something even more sad. Something that makes you feel like none of you passions or goals matter. Gaurenteed you’ll forget all about Talisa and her dead unborn child.